Second-Choice Friend

Have you ever had the experience of being a second-choice friend? Because recently I have. And let me tell you, it's no fun. At all.

Last year, I had a fabulous group of friends. We were close, we talked every day, and we were always there for each other. Until this summer, when one of us moved away. We no longer saw her, and she was the true backbone and heart of the group. And so, slowly, we fell apart. We still claim to be friends and get together every so often, maybe once every few months if we're lucky. We might see each other individually most days, but we rarely get a chance to talk anymore. And that really, really stinks. Because right now, I'm going through a tough time, and I need my friends. But they just aren't there. And I'm tired of being chosen last. I want friends who are there for me, the way I try to be there for them.

I don't know, bloggies, am I being unreasonable? I don't think so. It's not like I'm asking them to drop everything for me. I just want them to have lunch with me one day next week. Yet they persist in having more important things to do, more important people to have lunch with. And I am really tired of it. Why do I always have to be the one who calls people to invite them places, or texts them, or asks them how they are? Why do I always need to be the dependable one who's there when you need me, but not the one who has friends to depend on?

I am so, so sick of feeling lonely, knowing I don't have someone to turn to anymore. My "friends" don't know anything about my life anymore. They don't bother to ask. So I honestly don't know how to deal with this anymore. I'm tired of feeling hurt, lonely, unwanted.

What do you think I should do? Am I overreacting?

xoxo,
Heart.Soul.Mind