Love shouldn't make you sad. At least that's what I thought. I believed that it would be a magical, wonderful experience, full of joy. And maybe it is, but not for me. At least not right now.
I previously posted about the fact that I am in love with a boy. He's my very first love, and he means a lot to me. Like, a lot a lot. I think about him daily, and he makes me happier than anyone ever has, just with a smile and a conversation.
And yet, the fact that he views me as a friend, and has no clue how I feel has been one of the most painful experiences I've endured in my life. And I know, I know - I'm young, I'm silly, I'll get over it. But honestly? I really don't think that this is just some silly little crush. I really truly love him.
And while loving him is wonderful, it's heartbreaking. It's a uniquely strange experience. I would never give it up for the world. I'm learning what it is to truly love sacrificially - wanting what he needs before what I need. Giving him all of my heart without expecting a return.
It may be incredibly difficult to love him, but it would be infinitely worse to lose him. So it would seem I have reached an impasse. So be it.
What are your thoughts, my lovely readers?
xoxo,
Heart.Soul.Mind
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