Perspective

Perspective's a bit of a tricky thing, don't you think?

People say that age brings perspective, and I know that's true, but sometimes I wish that the perspective could come a bit faster, you know? Because I'm going to be honest, I am in love with a boy who doesn't give two cents about me. And that really hurts.

I could never, ever say anything about it to him, of course. But I really wish I would sometimes. And this loving him - it's the most painful thing I've ever gone through. Through him, I've learned what it means to sacrifice for the one you love... because I have been watching him like girl after girl, supported him, encouraged him, been by his side no matter what. Because his happiness means more to me than my own. I could never hurt him, so I hurt myself (emotionally) instead.

Yet I realize that what I feel is nothing, compared to what Christ did on that cross for us. I know he was the one who truly sacrificed for the ones he loved. And I feel so foolish for getting upset about my trivial, stupid affairs. But I can't help it, because I'm young and in love for the very first time. And so I pray, I hope, that I can gain perspective.

I want to be with him. But most importantly I want him to be happy. So I pray that God will help me remember that my sacrifice is nothing compared to what his Son gave us. If Jesus can die for us, I darn well can hide how I feel from him. Because right now that's what I have to do.

xoxo,
Heart.Soul.Mind